How do you say good-bye?Posted: December 13, 2005
But I don’t want to hear it. Not tonight.
You see, tonight, our beloved Fancy, 12 years, rests in the dining room, spending her last night in the only home she’s ever known.
We came home from the vet this afternoon, after x-rays to determine why her backend wasn’t operational. Diagnosis: cancer of the bone, located in her hips and causing paralysis. She can’t operate half of her body, and because of the cancer, it’s not a question of if, but when. And the decision is in our hands, the decision to make her end a peaceful one and not a painful one.
We’ve never had to make that decision before, to end the life of a pet. Our cat died earlier this year here at home. She wasn’t herself toward the end. But Fancy is all there mentally. This afternoon, I hadn’t been home more than 10 minutes and was in the backyard with the dogs when my DH called me, obviously sensing something wasn’t right. I broke down on the phone, taking a seat in the swing. As blind as she is, and as broken as she is, Fancy pulled herself over until she found me and lent me comfort.
How can I not be there as she takes her last breath?
How can I do this?