Self, I says…


That’s right, I’ve been talking to myself again. Nothing new. I rarely do it out loud, thought it feels like I do it here all the time.

ANYWAY, I need to have a serious talk with myself.

Hey, you!

What?

What’s the deal with this not writing thing? It’s been going on entirely too long.

I dunno.

What do you mean “I dunno?” What kind of answer is that?

I dunno.

Knock it off. What’s going on?

I really can’t pinpoint why I haven’t been productive in my fiction lately. It’s like I’m creatively paralyzed or something.

Well, that’s the biggest bunch of bull hockey I’ve heard lately. You seem to be creative enough when you’re working on your blog or on all those websites you do.

I know. I spend entirely too much time on that stuff. At first, I think I got dejected because of all the rejections. But now I think it’s become a really bad habit.

Have you forgotten how it felt when you first started writing? How much fun you had with it?

I think I need to be reminded. That podcast from the girl who does I SHOULD BE WRITING was talking about that on the one I’m listening to right now.

Right now? You mean you’re ignoring me?

No, of course not.

I should hope not.

I would never ignore you.

*Snort.* You ignore me all the time.

How?

When I tell you to go to bed before 3 a.m., when I say you need to quit worrying, you don’t need that hamburger…

Oh.

Oh. Yeah, and you ignore me when I tell you to get writing, especially. Quit worrying about getting it right the first time. Quit worrying about whether you’ll ever get an agent or sell the book. If writing is a part of you, which it obviously is, just write. It’s okay if it never sells, it’s okay if it stinks right out of the gate, You can revise it later and make it better. You think about your characters and your stories all the time. You dissect books and movies as you enjoy them you LOVE the power of storytelling, and you could be so good at it if you’d only give yourself a chance. You only have one life, quit ignoring you dreams.

I haven’t ignored all of them. And I’ve been going through some rough times.

Yes, you have. But you can’t let those rough times rob you of your power. It is within you to make things happen for you. You are your worst enemy. You are keeping yourself down, and you don’t deserve that.

No?

No. Why would you?

*Silence*

You can’t think of a reason, can you?

No…I think I’m just lazy, and have a problem with my priorities.

Bingo! Give the girl a prize. Now, quit being so lazy. You want things the way you want them, you have to work to maintain it,or you’ll be forced into doing things you don’t want to do, like leave self-employment and get a REAL job. Do you remember how much you dread a time clock?

Oh, yes. Yes, I do.

Well, then, knock it off. You have the talent and potential, and you are WASTING IT. I’m not saying this to make you feel bad. You are just at a point you have to decide what you want, and how bad you really want it. Got me?

Loud and clear.

Good. Now, you keep thinking about our little talk here. I’m sure we’ll be having another one. But right now, you need to get out from in front of this computer and get to bed. I MEAN it. And no TiVo.

But..but

Well, maybe a little. But none of this 3 a.m. crap. you have an early morning ahead of you, and a new client first thing. And that is important, because that leads to the whole dayjob issue, which we don’t have time to talk about tonight. Now shoo! Get yourself in bed.

Okay. Night.

Night…..Is Craig Ferguson’s show already over??? Aw, Man. You and your issues….

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One Comment on “Self, I says…”

  1. […] look now, but April’s reading herself the riot […]


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