Domingo Delicioso #27


I make a remark on how good one of our customer’s organic products looks.

“Yes,” she says, “I’m trying to buy as much as I can that’s natural or organic.  We all need to do our part for the environment.”

“Oh, sure,” I nod.

“Paper or plastic, ma’am?” asks the sacker.

  “Oh,” Customer #1 smiles, “plastic please.”

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“NO!”  Customer #2 stabs her finger into the air, and I look over my shoulder to see C__, the “top” sacker skedaddle away from us. 

I say “top” because when I started, C__ explained to me he was the “head” sacker.  I don’t know whether he is or not.  See, C__ is a little slow-minded (this company is really good about hiring people with special needs) and has a habit of building his accomplishments up a bit.  Even when I was a regular customer grocery shopping at this market, I noticed he did this.  He may very well be the top guy, who knows.  That doesn’t matter, anyway.  Just trying to set the character.

Anyway, Customer # 2, along with her daughter, who’s about my age, proceed to explain to me about a little set-to they had with C__ last year that ended with not only C___’s three-week suspension, but Customer #2’s lying in wait in the parking lot for a checker, who’d stood nearby and laughed off the argument, so she could tell her off in no uncertain terms.  The offense seemed to be a large slight to C2’s elderly mother.

So just as C2 told me, “I wanted to kill the little son-of-a-bitch.  I still might if he tries to come near me again,” Another sacker, K____, who’s old enough to know better, not slow-minded but definitely missing a few bricks (believe me, she’s just a nut) approached the checkstand and addressed C2.

“Did you tell C____ that you were going to hit him, or do something to him?” 

Crap, I think. Just what we need, another confrontation. “It’s okay, K___, we were talking about something that happened a long time ago.”

K__ looks at me, with an air of ‘I’ve been here longer than you, I know what I’m doing,’ then at C2.  “I’m just trying to clear up a misunderstanding here, because C__ said you threatened to hit him–“

“No,” I say, as quickly as I can, and with a smile toward C2, “They did not.”  At least not in the current circumstance.  “It’s really fine, K__.”  Shut the f*** up and go away, I try to tell her telepathically.  Alas, I am reminded again I am a mere mortal and have no powers such as these.  A memory of her telling me, while sacking groceries for yet another guest, that she recently demoted herself back to sacker from checker because she’d done something really bad and a vision of her skipping up and down the front end singing, badly, “We’re off to see the wizard…” at the top of her lungs comes to mind. (I kid you not.  My second day.)

“We’ve never had that kind of trouble at a grocery store before that day,” C2 continues her story, “We used to shop at (another store) and never had that kind of trouble. “

  AHA!  A chance to change the subject!  “Oh!”  I say, “My mom worked there forever!  I bet she helped you…”

SUCCESS!  Mom had had these women as customers before, they remembered her and C2’s daughter told me that must be why I’m so good at checking them out. She said she actually watched me work while they shopped for their groceries, and decided they wanted to go through my line because I looked like I knew what I was doing. (*snort*) K____ hushed up and finished sacking C2’s groceries.  Crisis averted.

“I might still kill the friggin’ idiot,” C2 mutters as she fumbled in her purse for her keys, and out of K____’s earshot.

I don’t know if the customer realized that C___  is slow.  In my mind, I was thinking he was just trying to clearly follow the rules on the topic of the argument, and didn’t have the wherewithal to use personal discretion on the matter at hand to avoid the conflict, while the customer was taking up for her elderly mother.  I see where both sides were coming from, but I just didn’t want another mess!

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The whole grocery clerk thing is actually kind of fun.  My body felt like someone had taken a baseball bat to it though.  My knee that I’d hurt some time ago was reminding me how foolish I was to have once upon a time fast-danced on carpet in tennis shoes while drinking tequila, and the rest of me was plain telling me how out of shape I’ve let myself become.  One day, I even had to sit down for a few minutes in the breakroom after I’d clocked out before I could walk out to my car. My legs were about to give out, and my back was in knots.  That night, I had a charlie horse in the back of my thigh and the front of my shin wake me, and it was forever before I walked it out. 

Now I know why Mom just smiled when I said, “Well, with my hair career, at least I’m used to standing up.”

But I’ve lots 10 pounds!  Whoo hoo!

So, how was YOUR week?

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But I’m game to try something new and get a new hobby that doesn’t mean beating my head against the wall …

Good luck with that, Kristin.  Hasn’t worked for me, yet.

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— but that’s when she’ll just pick up her moose-sized rear end and go shovel down a muffin.  Make that TWO muffins.

Whoo hoo!  Bonnie’s back!  Kinda…We’ll take what we can get, Bonnie!

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Today is the debut of CHARMED & DANGEROUS, the mass market version. I’m so excited. I’ve decided we should have a big celebration. I’ve talked with the universe and today you can eat the pastry of your choice and it won’t show up on the scale tomorrow. Really.

Congratulations, Candy!

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Jambon Purée ~ always love the window displays, though the name (puréed ham) disturbs me. So does that dummy on the right.

Ahhh, Gabrielle!  You take the loveliest pictures, and are the BEST virtual tour guide.  Thanks for sharing Par–eee!

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You can stop laughing now and hand Groovy some analgesics. Her head is starting to seriously ache!

Groovy and Mr. Snowblower.  It’s personal.

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Hence the excitement and ruckus caused when he comes across a Thing.

My felines have had much joys in their Things, too, Ms. Karen.  FAVE: Circly seals off of milk jugs!  I opened a little used closet once to find a multitude of them had been chased beneath the door.

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Just because Santa says ‘Ho’ doesn’t mean he wants to begin moonlighting as your pimp.

You got it, Selma!

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  Did you think I’d fallen off the planet?  Nope, I’m still here. 

Still here, and still rockin’!  You are so FABULOUS, Lady Shanny!

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Whenever I check out at the grocery store, I always grab one of those cards that add a dollar increment of your choice to your bill, ostensibly to go toward the needy.

Yeah, Crystal, I’ve been selling those all week.  My market has been having a food drive for the Food Bank. Had to love your story.  As usual!

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How are you handling the holiday stress?

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5 Comments on “Domingo Delicioso #27”

  1. Selma says:

    Your checkout experiences take me back. I put myself through University working as a ‘checkout chick’ and boy, oh boy, were there some heated moments! You handled it so well. They should pay you extra for diplomatic skills. Sounds like you’re enjoying it though, and congrats on losing all that weight. That is awesome!

  2. Ms. Karen says:

    Great DD, as usual, DW! (and thanks for the mention).

    One of our major grocery stores hires the challenged folks from our city and, um, yeah, things can get strange. I once had a young lady comment (very loudly) on every item she placed in a bag. Of course, that had to be the day I picked up a little something… “How many preparations did they have before they got to ‘H’? Why do you suppose they used letters instead of numbers?”

    You handled your situation very well, and I applaud you.

    As for the paper or plastic thing? I finally went out and bought some of those reusable bags. Sturdy little things. Too bad I keep forgetting to bring them with me when I go to the store.

  3. Ms. Karen says:

    Um, by the way… I loved the video clip, but what were those people doing in my house and why do I look like Chevy Chase?

  4. desperatewriter says:

    HAH!!! I thought that was MY house! 🙂 Yeah, I bought some of those reusable burlap bags, too, but I DO forget to put them back in the car! Sheesh. 🙂

    We had one of our special needs kids ask a lady, when she mentioned she was in a hurry for a Dr.’s appt, why she wS going to the Dr. Talk about a deer in the headlights look from the client. I just wanted to tell him that we don’t ask those kind of questions. But it turned out okay, with a little re-direction.

  5. See, that is why I live under the radar as best as possible. I am terribly worried those folks will show up at OUR house. Must. Leave. House.

    Changed phone number, but now must leave house.

    Thank god they are afraid of Bobby the Crow. He’s better than a firearm.

    Happy Holidays, everyone!


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